In Thick Darkness, O Lord, Thou Art Ineffable Light -an original poem

I was washed
And when sprinkled, cleansed.
You removed my heart of stone,
And gave to me a clean heart,
O God. In the flood, the gates
Of Paradise were made open for me.
Below the ark, the old man drowned,
And in Your cross was crucified and died.
When the new man rose, you illumined me.
Now, O Lord, I am in darkness.
I have hardened my heart against you.
And no longer have clean hands or a pure heart.
I have turned my heart against my neighbor,
Refusing to meet his needs. So you have
Visited me. My soul thirsted for the waters
Of Your holy city, but my flesh desires the
Nile. So You have made it blood, for I
Refuse to Commune with You.
You have sent to me a great darkness
And in this darkness, I dwell alone,
Unmoving, in silence. This darkness, my
God, I feel. Yet You have revealed the
Hidden and secret things of Your wisdom:
You dwell in thick darkness.

You shall wash me,
And I shall be whiter than snow.
And in the baptism of my tears, I shall
Be cleansed, for every night I flood my bed.
Only the clean of heart shall truly see You,
And ascend Your holy hill. For Noah
Was blameless and ascended to
Your mountain; and Moses at
Rephidim showed us victory in Your cross.
Teach me to wash my garments
And to ascend into the cloud of darkness.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity;
Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation, my health.
You are my helper, for I have set
You before me. Strike the rock
For my sake, and let the earth
Swallow up the Korah of my flesh.
For You have set a table before me.
Transfer me to Your kingdom of light in Goshen,
With the righteous on Your right hand.
Let us wrestle, my God, and let
Me limp. For You have revealed
A great truth: There will be no sun, for
You, O Christ, are our light.


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